Part I: The First Quarter

As I sit here before you,
shoulders slumped,
my insides feeling empty;
yet, with a load on my heart,
before a piece of bread.

 

How?

 

How could it be you,
my saviour?
Such majesty! Such sovereignty!
Mightiness! Awesomeness!

 

Contained in that single, little piece of bread,
less than a loaf.

 

O Humble Host,
Gardenia and sunshine
has nothing on you –
capturing my heart
capturing its depths.

 

Lord, present before me…
Existing before me…
Veiled before me…
Yet, looking and staring…
Capturing my being…
Wait, what’s that funny smell?
Smells like dirty socks.

 

Ah, yes I forgot.

 

The pains and the toils I bring to you today.
Ah, the agony.
Yet, I feel nothing now.

 

Strange.

 

Where is that weight, O my heart?
It was there a minute ago.
Wait no, it’s still there.
But it doesn’t matter as much –
why?

 

What is this stillness?
It’s always there when I’m before you.
I’m so far yet so near –
Peace? Peace.
Love? Love.

 

“I am with you.
So fear not.
Abide with me as I abide with you.”
Wow!
I’m trying to grasp that now.

 

 

Part II: Reality

Silence.

 

Somebody just walked in.
Do you feel what I feel?
Do you see what I see?
The Lord loves you too.
I will pray for you.  Let us share our hearts with the Lord.
Nice haircut by the way.

 

Wait. It’s about you, Lord.
All those seconds wasted.
All of eternity gone before me.
All of infinity ahead and beyond.

 

Yet Now.

 

The Now, the Now!
In the middle of a fragile moment.
So ancient yet born again every second.
All the pasts, you have been.
All the futures, you will be.

 

Powerful in its weakness.
Changing quickly, yet always existing.
Awaiting to capture the future.
In an instant becoming the past.
How weak, how fleeting
Like dust in the wind.
How powerful, how strong
Like a hungry little black hole.

 

And you, Lord, are the Lord of the Now.
You are here.
Grounding me, grounding my soul.
All that has been, all that will be.
Here now at this moment.
You are.
And I am.

 

 

Part III: Interval

Wait.

 

My problems.
What were they?
Does it matter?
You know.
I know you know.
But do I really?

 

They are not here now.
Only You and I.

 

Problems with the past,
Gone like smoke.
In your hands I can’t get them back.
Problems for the future.
I can’t get to them.
No time is promised to me.

 

Why worry then, you fool?

 

You are not asking for my past,
you have not gifted me my future.
You are Lord of the Now.
You want my Now.

 

“I’m here Now.
I’m with you Now.
I Love you Now.
I will be with you always.”

 

My heart’s burning.
A roaring furnace
Burning with desire.
Powerful but not consuming.
Immensity’s welling from within.
The body cannot contain –
all of eternity passed,
all of infinity ahead.
Doesn’t matter.

 

I am with you now, Lord.
I want to love you now, Lord.
I want to be with you always.

 

 

Part IV: The Last Quarter

My heart’s full again,
heavier than before.
But it’s heavy with Love –
Grounded. Rooted.

 

Time passes.

 

Now, it comes and goes.
Yet it still remains.
Stillness, peace
“I look at my Lord
And He looks at me.”
I understand.

 

World’s moving,
turning,
changing.

 

The Host’s standing.
Firm.
With me.

 

Is that the time?
Oh no!
I don’t want to go…